Past
by oliviaroberta
Summary: Olivia and Elliot are called in to question a murder suspect when findings point to self defense. First story I've ever written so sorry if it's terrible. I'm also basing this off of a dream I had the other night, as well as something that happened to me.
1. Chapter 1

I sat on the floor breathing hard, shaking, clenching my fists, staring at his empty eyes staring back at me accusingly. I sucked in air hearing a whistling noise, and then my sobs reached my ears. I couldn't make myself get up, and I couldn't stop staring at him. I heard the door open downstairs, and the footsteps coming up the stairs but still, I continued to stare unmoving crying.

"Kids, I'm home!" she screamed and I heard her things drop with a crash. The sound brought me back, and I looked at her.

"Mommy," I whispered. She was on the phone, talking to someone. She kneeled next to the body and took his pulse. I could hear the sirens. "I'm scared."

"You killed him!" she yelled lunging at me dropping her phone. I yelped and jumped back. She grabbed my hair and yanked me to her, slamming my head off the ground. I heard people come in the door, and then we were surrounded by police officers.

She was pulled off of me, and led into the kitchen. A female covered the bottom half of my exposed body and then handcuffed me. She read me my rights as she led me down the stairs and out to a car.

* * *

_He was on top of me. I could feel his breath on my face, his hands pinning my arms down, his teeth scratching at my neck as he mauled it with kisses, and his penis inside me. "Please," I whispered. "Please stop."_

_ "You like it," he said biting my ear._

* * *

The clang of the door opening startled me out of sleep. "Hey, I brought you some water," the officer who had handcuffed me handed me a paper cup. I drank a little bit of it.

"What happens now?"

"Someone will be over to question you soon," she took the cup back and walked out.

"Can I see my Mom?"

"She isn't here. I'm sorry," she added like it was her fault. I didn't respond just shifted leaning my head back. I couldn't allow myself to go back to sleep that's when the nightmares came.

* * *

Ring! Ring!

"Benson?"... "OK. I'll be right over," I hung up.

"We got a case?" Elliot asked his hands going to the desk top to push himself up into a standing position.

"I have a case. Sort of. Someone wants help with an interrogation."

"Of?"

"A teenager. Killed her brother. When she was found with him he was naked, she didn't have pants on, and they found a picture of her naked in his pocket."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I should have said this before but this is the first story I've ever written. I'm also basing this off my personal experience, all the italicized writing I'm planning on using is something that happened to me, as well as a dream I had. I'm sorry if this story is terrible but I'm just using it as a way to write down what happened to me in more of a fictionalized story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part whatsoever of Law & Order: SVU**

"Let's go," the lady police officer said helping me to my feet. She gripped my bicep and led me out of the cell and into an interrogation room. She had me sit down in a chair and then she left. I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked like a wild woman. My long curly blonde hair was frizzy and all over the place, and my light brown eyes looked cold.

I sat there for what seemed like forever, when a man and a woman entered. They seemed very familiar with each other, as they took there seats across from me. I cleared my throat, "so how long did you watch me for?"

"What makes you think we were watching you?"

"Someone was. That's a one way window, this side is reflective, the other side is transparent. I was left here for a while."

"Well it wasn't us," the woman said. "What's your name?"

"You don't know my name?"

"These are all standard questions," she said.

"Fine, Aimee. What's yours?"

"I'm Detective Benson, and my partner is Detective Stabler. What's your last name?"

"Johnston. Can we just get this over with? I killed him."

"Who said you killed anyone?" Detective Stabler asked.

"That's what I was arrested for."

"So tell us what happened."

"I stabbed my brother in the chest three times, and then in the back twice. He died."

"Why?" I shrugged.

"That's the problem," Detective Benson said leaning in opening the folder she'd carried in. "This was found on the body," she slid a picture over to me. I looked at my naked self in the shower. "Why would your brother have a picture like this of you?"

"I don't know."

"And why," she said sliding me another picture of my dead brother, "was he naked?"

"I don't know," I said annoyed.

"Why didn't you have pants on?"

"Because we were sleeping together!" I yelled at her. "We were sleeping together," I repeated the words sinking in to my brain.

"So, why did you stab him then?"

"Because I hate him. H- he was going to run away and leave me." There was a tap on the glass.

"Keep looking at this and think about it," they got up and left the room.

"What do you want?" Elliot asked.

"We need to keep talking to her, get her to trust us," I said.

"You heard her, she admitted to killing him. There was motive."

"You call that motive?"

"Yes, I do, now excuse me. I need to get ready for arraignment."

"I'm not letting this go. She did not stab her brother because he was leaving her. C'mon Elliot," I led him out the door. "Let's go talk to Warner."

I stared at the picture of his dead body and shivered. I could feel his fingers rapped around my arms, his breath on my face, his body pressed up against mine. Someone grabbed my bicep and I jumped.

"Sorry, c'mon. Back to the holding cell."

"What happens now?"

"Well, you'll get an attorney, and go to arraignment. Which will probably be in a few hours. Go ahead and rest up. After that, depending on how arraignment goes you could end up in prison." Her words sent shivers down my spine but I sat on the thin bench anyway pretending I wasn't scared.


	3. Chapter 3

I led the way into the morgue Elliot trailing behind me. "Hey Melinda."

"Elliot Olivia, what are you guys doing here? I haven't had a victim for you all day."

"We're here because of another case."

"We were asked to interview a girl who murdered her brother because of things that were found at the scene."

"OK. Who's the murder vic?"

"Brian Johnston. He's 18."

She looked at her chart and then led us over to a drawer. She pulled out the one assigned to him, and a young man cleaned up from the pictures we'd seen looked like he was asleep. "This him?"

"Yea. What can you tell us about him?"

"Well, he had sex before he died. He was stabbed in the chest three times twice in the back. He was in iffy health. He already had some liver damage probably from drinking, as well as kidney damage. I found traces of Molly, a purer form of MDMA, in his system. There were needle marks on his arms and bruises so he could have been using heroine but I didn't find any in his system. I did find weird scarring on his back, it looks like he could have been whipped."

"OK. Anything else?"

"Nope."

"Do you know who he slept with?"

"I sent the DNA to the lab to be tested. That's all I've got."

"OK, thanks Melinda," Elliot led me out. "So what do you want to do now?"

"Go to the lab."

"Let's save gas, and call them first."

"Fine," I pulled out my phone and called in.

"How do you plead?"

I looked up at the Judge. "Not guilty," my attorney said.

"No, she's lying. I plead guilty."

"We have her sworn confession right here."

"Give me a minute your Honor," my attorney said. She whispered in my ear, "I don't care if you did it, we are pleading not guilty. Do you want to spend your whole life in jail?"

"No."

"Fine. Your Honor my client pleads Not Guilty."

"Your Honor we have her signed confession right here."

"She was confused at the time Your Honor."

"The Court accepts your plea of Not Guilty. The defendant will be held in Manhattan Juvenile Facility until trial. What would you like on bail?"

"She's a minor Your Honor. We request $25,000."

"They're going to call us if they get anything. Let's go to her apartment."

"It's a house," he said correcting me. I rolled my eyes as I got in. "Do you think the mother will even be home?"

"Let's find out." We arrived at the home about an hour later. "There's a car," we unbuckled and walked up to the door. We knocked and waited a few minutes before a woman about 5 feet tall with short bleach blonde hair opened it.

"What do you want?" I held up my badge.

"We're police, ma'am. I'm Detective Benson. This is my partner Detective Stabler. Are you Mrs. Johnston?"

"No, I'm Miss Carol."

"Are you Aimee Johnston's mother?"

"Yes. I want nothing to do with her."

"Can we come in ma'am?"

"Why? I've already had the police in here before."

"We would like to search her room and ask you a few questions."

"I already answered all the other police officer's questions. Have at her room though. It's a fucking mess. I haven't bothered to throw her shit away yet." she led us up the stairs and then pointed up a ladder. "Her room's up there."

Elliot led the way up the ladder into a huge room with brown wooden walls, a sloped cieling and blue carpet. It was extremely hot. "Where's the light?"

"Miss Carol. Where is the light?"

"There should be a lamp next to the bed."

Elliot found it and turned it on illuminating the floor which was littered with clothes, papers, books, pens, sports equipment. "Well it smells nice," I said truthfully. "You take that half, I have this half."

I began sifting through everything collecting all the papers and creating a pile. "'Liv, there's some blood on her bed," I went over to where he was. Sure enough on the sheets was blood.

"She could have started her period. Take the sheets off," I pulled the pillowcases off. There was blood stains on both sides of both of her pillows, as well as a couple small ones on her mattress. Elliot glanced over at me. "These don't prove anything. She could get bloody noses, and you don't know exactly when your period's going to start and it could go through at night. Let's keep looking." We were there for the next few hours collecting all the papers, and anything we thought might be useful.

"You must think I'm a horrible parent," Miss Carol said as we were leaving.

"No," Elliot responded quickly. "You're hurt you lost a child to another of your children." My phone rang.

"Excuse me," I stepped off to the side. "Benson?"

"This is Stucky, down at the lab. I have a little bit of results on the DNA. I can tell you that the female that the dead man had a sexual encounter with was not related to him."

"OK, thanks Stucky. Call me back when you find out more."

"Will do 'Liv," I hung up.

"Miss Carol?" she looked over from Elliot. "Did your son have a girlfriend?"

She snorted, "not that I know of. He could have been with anyone for all I know. Hell I didn't know he was sleeping with his own sister."

"Do you know if anyone was here yesterday with your family?"

"No. All's I know is that my daughter decided to have sex with, and then kill her brother."

"There's a problem there though, the DNA found on your son is from someone unrelated to him."

"Oh," she said. "Well, that's easy. They're adopted. Both of them from completely different families."

* * *

"C'mon Johnston. You have a visitor," I got up and he led me out of my cell and down the hallway. We were buzzed through several doors, and then we arrived at the visitors area. My right hand was cuffed to the table, "when you're done just call for a guard," he walked away. I heard a buzzer and watched as a heavyset brunette girl walked in.

"Aimee!" she yelled sitting down.

"You don't have to yell," I said. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you. Make sure you were OK."

"Well, I'm fine."

"What happened?"

"I killed Brian," she looked down at the table.

"Well, he can't hurt you anymore. But now you're in here. You need to tell them about him..."

"No."

"I did. I told about Jake."

"Well, I'm not you and Jake's not dead."

"It will make you feel so much better. Please, Aimee. You shouldn't be in here."

"I told them we were sleeping together. Now I'm done talking. I'm going to go sleep for once in my life. Guard!" I called out. A man approached.

"Aimee... I- I'll tell them what I know."

"You wouldn't dare! I kept your secret."

"Well, now you're fucking up your life."

"I don't care. I'll deny it all!" the man hesitated. "I'm done with her," he led me away.

"I'm sorry Aimee!" she called after me as we were buzzed out.


	4. Chapter 4

I sat next to my cellmate, Rachel, on the bench at the table. "Are you going to eat that?"

"No," I said. I pushed my tray away from me.

"You should eat. Breakfast is the best meal of the day here."

I forked some of the artificial eggs into my mouth and pushed them around. I couldn't make myself swallow. I sat there panicking feeling nauseaus. I grabbed the orange juice and gulped it down until the eggs went down to. "I'm full," I said. She pulled my tray over to her.

"So, I heard you last night."

"What was I doing?"

"You were mumbling in your sleep. Every new celly takes about a night to get used to. Don't worry about it."

"Um, what was I saying?"

"I definitely heard a few no's in there. It's not a big deal."

"OK," I said. There was a bell somewhere, and we were all ordered up and into lines. We went back to our cells. I lay on my bed resting my head on my hands.

I'd had another nightmare last night but I never knew I talked in my sleep. When I wasn't sleeping I was worrying about Beth. She'd threatened to tell my secret that I had entrusted her with because I knew hers and that she wouldn't tell anyone. But then she told her own, and promised me that she wouldn't tell mine unless I told her it was OK.

"Um, are you Detective Benson?" I looked at a girl as tall as me, with curly brown hair that was shoulder length, and she was a little on the heavier side.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"My name's Elizabeth Lowell. I'm a friend of Aimee Johnston's. I need to tell you something about her."

"OK, let's go somewhere a little more private." I led her into a conference room. "Can I get you some water or anything?"

"No, I'm OK." I sat down across from her. She looked nervous. "She's going to kill me," she laughed. "Not literally, but she'll probably never talk to me again."

"Why?"

"Because I promised her something."

"What?"

"She told me something and I swore I wouldn't tell. She only told me because I trusted her," she wasn't stopping and I didn't interrupt. "When I was 9 my step father started molesting me and it went on for a long time. I told her about it when she moved here in 8th grade. She kept her promise and never told a soul that she knew, even after he had been arrested for beating the shit out of my mom, and I told the police about what had been going on. After that, I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone her secret, but she shouldn't be in jail. I know she didn't mean to kill him, and well if she did he fucking deserved it." she finally stopped. "Can I have that water?"

"Of course," I scooted back. "I'll be right back," I went out into the squad room and got a plastic cup.

"How's it going?"

I recognized Elliot's voice. "I don't know. She's nervous so she's rambling. We're getting there though. She wanted some water," I held up the water filled cup and walked back to the room. "Here."

"Thank you," she said taking a few sips.

"So, what was the secret she told you?"

"She didn't really tell me much. Just like basic information."

"About?"

She took a breath and let it out. "Her brother Brian is disgusting. She told me one night that he made her two little brothers suck each other's umm.. ya know," she looked sick. "And that he watches her go to the bathroom, and shower," she was talking even faster. "And that sometimes he makes her do things, and he gets in bed with her," she covered her face.

I cleared my throat, "when was the last thing she told you about?"

"She hasn't said anything in a couple years. Ever since my ex-stepdad was arrested, she stopped confiding in me and that was our sophomore year. We're seniors now," she added.

"Do you remember what she told you?"

"She was afraid she was pregnant, because she'd missed her period and she said that he'd um," she blushed looking down at the table.

"What did he do?"

"He um..." she took a deep breath, "video taped him um... from behind... in her.. butt," she didn't look at me.

"Can I have a phone call?" I asked the guard going by.

"Let me check," I stood there waiting.

"Who are you calling?" Rachel asked.

"A friend." He came back.

"C'mon," I was taken to a little booth with a pay phone. I dialed Beth's number, which I knew by heart.

"Hello?"

"Beth? This is Aimee."

"Aimee! Oh, I um.. Wow you found out fast. I talked to this really nice detective lady."

I felt my blood freeze, "you what?"

"I told. I told them everything."

"You fucking bitch!" I yelled. "I trusted you. I told you not to!"

"I was just trying to help."

"I didn't want it."

"Well, you shouldn't be in jail, and if you weren't going to help yourself I was going to help you."

"Fuck you!" I slammed the phone down, and went back to my cell.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This stuff is true about my life. **

_I laughed following Brian up the driveway. We walked inside, and raced up the stairs to the kitchen. He beat me, and yanked the freezer open. I grabbed two spoons licking them and handed him one as he set the ice cream down on the table. He pried the top off and we dug in. After a few bites, "Ok, that's good. Let's put it back."_

_ "I want another one," I dug my spoon in pulling out a huge chunk. I put the whole thing in my mouth. _

_ "Stop it!" he swatted at me. I kept the spoon in my mouth as I dodged it, laughing. I pulled it out with ice cream still on it, and stuck my tongue out at him. I put the ice cream back in and walked over towards the sink when he shoved me over. I landed on my stomach with my head to the side, the spoon still in my mouth. I struggled to breathe the ice cream not helping. _

_ He got on top of me, and started humping me. I got my hand up and ripped the spoon out of my mouth. "What are you doing!? Get off of me!"_

_ "Shut up!"_

_ "You're hurting me!" I yelled at him and hit him on the head with the spoon. He rolled off of me. I got up leaving the spoon on the floor and went into the bathroom._

_ There was a knock on the door. "Aimee, I'm sorry. Let me in."_

_ "I'm going to the bathroom," I said. Just as I sat down and started to go he forced his way into the bathroom. "Brian! Get out!"_

_ "I've never seen a girl pee before," he came over and watched me. As soon as I was done, I shoved him away and ran out. I went up the ladder to my bedroom in the attic. He followed me. "Do you want to have sex?"_

_ "No!"_

_ "Do you even know what sex is?"_

_ "No!" I said annoyed with him and afraid._

_ "It's when someone puts their penis inside of someone's vagina. I knew that when I was in third grade. I was smarter then, than you are now," I ignored him looking through my stuff. "So do you want to?"_

_ "Do I want to what?"_

_ "Have sex?"_

_ "No! Leave me alone! Get out of my room," I picked up the book I'd been looking for and plopped on my bed. _

_ "I think we should," he sat down next to me. I scooted away. "C'mon, it'll be fun. It feels good," he said grabbing my wrist. He pulled me back to him._

_ "Brian, I don't want to!" I tried pulling away, but he was a lot stronger than me. He made me roll over and he got back on top of me. "Brian! Stop! Stop! C'mon," I said giggling nervously. "Brian please," I whined this time. He kissed me on the lips. He pushed his tongue in, I jerked away. He stuck his hand in my pants. "Brian! No!" I wriggled around trying to get away. He yanked on my hair hard._

_ "Stop it! You will enjoy yourself!" he kissed me and then pulled his and my pants down. _

_ "Please," I said really crying now. I looked down and cried harder. He pushed inside of me. I screamed wanting him to stop. He clamped his hand over my mouth and kept going._

"Johnston!" I jumped and fell off the bed onto the floor. "You have a visitor."

"Damn, you're real popular," Rachel said. I picked myself up and the guard led me to the visitors area. This time I was in a little room, and Detective Stabler was sitting there.

"Aren't I supposed to have a lawyer?" I asked irritated.

"If you want one. I just wanted to talk to you."

"Fine," I sat down.

"You know we've been finding out a lot about you and you're family. You were adopted when you were fifteen months because your alcoholic, drug addict parents didn't feed or bathe you. You were born four months early and only weighed 1 pound 11 ounces."

"So?"

"You had a hard start to your life, and then when you were adopted you were in and out of the hospital constantly because you were sick, or they were routine visits to have your growth checked out. You didn't walk until you were three. You're a great sister to your little brothers."

"What does all of this have to do with anything?"

"We went through your notebooks."

"Which ones?" I gripped the table.

"From your room. I know that you find older men attractive like your geometry teacher, and your history teacher. Also, Gerard Pique whoever he is."

"Shakira's baby daddy and a soccer player for Columbia. Don't forget Raphael Nada the tennis player. Is it a crime that I find these men attractive?"

"No. I find it amusing. My daughters like them two." I folded my arms.

"I still don't know what you want."

"Why can't we just talk?"

"Because you interrupted my nap."

"You can sleep here?"

"A lot easier than at home," I covered my mouth.

"Why couldn't you sleep at home?"

"The noise."

"I'm sure this place gets real quiet at night. Do you want to know what else we found in your note book?"

"I want to know why you're here. You're a police officer. You don't visit, a seventeen year old murderer just to have a conversation."

"How do you know? You could provide me with some info," he pulled out his phone. "My partner was talking to your mom."

"H- how is she?"

"Pissed at you," I bowed my head. "She just told my partner that a few years ago when you guys lived in Vermont she was pushed down the stairs by her partner and she broke her ankle." I swallowed hard remembering that night. "She said that you went to the hospital with her, and one of the nurses said you had a hickey."

"So? I was kissing someone."

"You were what 10?"

"9," I corrected.

"How do you kiss when you're 9? My daughter kissed her boyfriends on the cheek." I didn't answer. "Are you going to say that you were sleeping with your brother already?"

"What if I was?"

"Did you even know what sex was when you were 9?"

"I sure as hell found out!" I wanted to hit myself. If he kept annoying me I was just going to tell him the truth.

"Elizabeth talked to us. She's worried about you."

"She's a liar. She likes to make things up."

"Oh really?"

"Guard!" I called out. "Good bye Detective," I was taken away.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

"I think I got close a few times. How'd it go with the mother?"

"She's confused now. She gave me all the DVD's in her sons room though. I'm still going through them. No sign of the video of him and Aimee. This kid had enough porn, you can take over for a while," I passed him the remote and left him in there.


End file.
